We have a very misguided belief in our society that we are incomplete beings and that in order to achieve this completeness we need someone else in our lives. This is not true, for we are complete beings, who have an enlightened nature.
I’m not saying relationships are bad. What I am saying is that when we enter into a relationship focused on failure, the pursuit of completeness. In this text, I want to address three aspects of relationships.
The first concerns the idealization of the other, the second refers to the vision of lack that we have inside and the third aspect talks about how we can generate a relationship connected to sharing instead of charging.
In general people seek the ideal being. That individual who will meet all our needs and who will make us happy. This erroneous view of relationships creates an expectation that can initially be met. At the beginning of our relationships positive things surface and little is seen of differences and negative things. There is an idealization of the other, which we expect to fulfill our needs. However, the person does not notice that he is self-centered in seeking an ideal partner, rather than being the ideal person.
This is because we have a vision of lack and of searching within ourselves. We want the feeling of being complete, when in fact we already are. We believe that love and happiness will come when we find the right person without realizing that we are placing the responsibility of our happiness on the shoulders of the other.
We must be responsible for our happiness and not victims of the behavior and emotions that the other person manifests. If we always expect someone to make us happy, we are hostage to that person’s attitudes. In addition, we are placed in a situation of being incapable of being responsible for self and for their own happiness.
When we learn to be happy alone, we can share this happiness with another person and share our learning about life, so that we can have full experiences and without a charge. Taking responsibility for your happiness is taking the reins of your life and getting out of the position of victim.
When you are in the position of victim the person is left without action, because it is always waiting for someone to save it. Change is only possible when your mind takes responsibility for your own happiness.
Love needs to be shared, otherwise we end up in relationships to meet our own need. You have love within you, but you must learn to cultivate it, because, after all, we can only give what we have inside.
I know it sounds kind of contradictory, but we’ll only be happy when we do not need it desperately, it’s the reality. Love has to blossom in a field of freedom, otherwise it becomes merely a quest to meet its emotional needs.
I hope this text will help you, but I’d like to teach you a formula for that anyway. I indicate one of the texts I wrote for the Virtual Horoscope: The Formula of Love . Read this other article and hopefully help you further. May your life be filled with love.